As managers, you play a crucial role not only in overseeing tasks but also in coaching your team members to develop and thrive. Being a coach means guiding and empowering your people to reach their full potential.
Effective feedback is a cornerstone of this process—it helps individuals understand their strengths, identify areas for improvement, and fosters a culture of continuous learning and growth. The way we deliver feedback can significantly impact our relationship with our team members.
Choosing the right words is essential to ensure that our message is clear and supportive, rather than confusing or damaging.
Words and phrases to avoid during coaching conversations
Always | Never | Hardly Ever | Sometimes | Constantly | Usually
These words can be interpreted differently by each person, leading to confusion. While you might think you're being clear, your team member could hear something else entirely.
If I were you...
Remember, you are not them. Unless they explicitly ask for your opinion, it’s best to avoid this phrase.
Everyone thinks...
This can insinuate rumors and create a sense of people talking behind their back, which can damage trust and morale.
But...
Avoid using the word "but". Our brains often disregard the part of the sentence before "but," which can lead to important information being overlooked. Instead, try using "and" to keep the message positive.
Actually...
This can imply that what the other person is saying is not true and what you are saying is the truth. It can damage communication and make the team member feel unheard or disbelieved.
To be honest...
This phrase can imply that you might not have been honest in the past, which can undermine trust.
Providing feedback gets easier with time and practice. The anticipation and lead-up to the conversation are often more daunting than the actual meeting, so don’t be afraid to share feedback that will help your team members improve. Effective feedback is detailed, timely, and intended to help the individual perform at their best.
To ensure that your good intentions are at the forefront, avoid these words and phrases that may derail your conversation or leave the wrong impression.